If it's quiet, they are likely in your makeup

September 08, 2021

If it's quiet, they are likely in your makeup...


A recent study by BS university found that when children sneak in and use your makeup, it’s the most expensive stuff 100% of the time. 

Even if it’s not, their skin is different to yours. It’s delicate and young and has been untainted by aging, the sun, the despair of finding out the Duke isn’t returning to season two of Bridgerton, and a steady diet of carbohydrates and fat. The cheaper stuff generally means cheaper ingredients, which means it’s not great for young skin.

I can remember once when my eldest was about 5 years old. We had a new baby as well as her. I was tending to the freshie and my eldest was being an absolute dream, playing quietly by herself.

As a parent with a few more years under my belt now, I can look back and see that this should’ve been a red flag (like the time your husband said he was just ‘looking’ at motorbikes for research purposes).

Eventually I finished with the newbie and went to find her.

Honestly, I’m surprised aeroplanes flying over our house didn’t spot her.

She was covered, head to toe, in red nail polish.

I marvelled for a moment at her brute strength (how one earth did she unscrew a nail polish cap?!), but those feelings quickly waned as the full impact of the scene hit me.

As a general rule, I don’t run (especially in public. If you see me running, start running. It means there’s either danger behind or a food truck ahead). This time was an exception. I could see that the room I found her in was NOT the room where she’d done her..erm…artwork.

I bolted from room to room, following the scent of ethyl acetate until I found it to be the strongest in the lounge room. With all the poise of an elephant dancing the nutcracker, I scoured every inch of that room, looking for signs of nail polish.

By some miracle, the room had escaped mostly unscathed. There was a small amount under the tall boy, but I could live with that. 

However, there was no escaping the fact that my daughter looked like she’d been busy committing a bloody murder. She was COVERED in red nail polish, and no amount of soaking, gentle scrubbing, or using different soaps and oils, would make it come off.

The time that followed was interesting. I found myself frequently explaining to strangers in public that my daughter hadn’t been involved in a massacre, merely a random act of brute strength that enabled her to unscrew the cap of a crimson nail polish.

Thank goodness we learned from that experience. I know now that silent children usually means ‘GET IN HERE NOW’. I also know where to buy her own, all natural, play makeup (including water based nail polish like these).

Thank goodness we got it out in the end... 

xx Nat (founder of No Nasties Kids)